The one major sporting event we had planned for Dave’s stay with us (besides bowling) was Mini-Golf! And by “planned”, I mean “vague-idea-that-we-were-gonna-go-but-without-checking-to-make-sure-there-was-still-mini-golf-open-anywhere”. I wanted Around the World Mini-Golf, but they’re closed for the next 7 months, and I didn’t really wanna wait that long. So Pirates Cove it was!
And as it turns out, Pirates Cove was definitely the right choice. With a pirate theme and a 19-“chapter” Pirate tale, it made golfing an adventure! (Wow, that sounded dorky.) Jen was disinterested, but I could tell Dave was totally enthralled by my dramatic reading of the accompanying chapter at each hole of the course, chronicling the story of Elizabeth and Will Turne–err… Sebastian’s–thrilling escape from Blackbeard! Seriously, this was some rivetting stuff.
Making par in mini-golf is a life goal for me, so I was determined and resolute that this was going to be my day. At first, it looked like things might go my way. I outplayed Dave and Jen for the first half-dozen holes, and was right on track for par. I even scored a hole-in-one on Hole 7, so I was feeling pretty badass.
That’s when things fell apart. We came to the first water hazard–a pool on the left-hand side that led into a waterfall. Dave hit his ball right next to the hole. Jen did the same. I hit my ball straight toward the hole–except it somehow went into the water. Jen fished it out, and I had to take the penalty since I couldn’t shoot it out of the water. I shot again–straight into the water. Penalty. I shot again–straight into the water. Penalty. I grudgingly took my ‘6’ on the hole, which it would be difficult if not impossible to come back from.
Next hole had another water trap, but this time Jen hit her ball into it–but with different results, as her ball came out of a tunnel and right next to the hole. Realizing the trick, I shot my ball for the water “trap” as well–and this time I missed totally and shot my ball on top of a rock instead. Not wanting the penalty, I shot it off the rock, which made for a great photo op, if nothing else. No par for this course.
The final nail in the coffin was a hole near the end with raised platforms. I immediately shot my ball off the course and onto the sidewalk. Not wanting to take the penalty, I attempted to shoot the ball back onto the course–which would’ve been fine if the there weren’t bricks bordering the course. The ball ricocheted and went down a steep hill and Jen kindly retrieved it for me. I took the same stupid shot again not wanting the penalty–this time I cleared the brick, but overshot the entire course and sent the ball flying into the woods. Jen found my ball–again–but that second ‘6’ on the course had already sealed my fate.
I have to say I had a lot more fun once I knew I was screwed, though. And my play was good as well–I got another hole-in-one on the last hole.
Turning in our balls to the owner, he asked to see our scorecard, and had me sign my name for getting a hole-in-one on on hole 7. I won a free game! A free game! I got a shiny Pirates Cove coin, which is worth way more to me than the $8.50 value of the game. I’ll be keeping that coin for the scrapbook for sure.
And for getting hole-in-ones on the last hole, Dave and I each got metallic bead necklaces! Jen told me they’re called hooker beads. Sweet!
Final score was Dave 46, Jen 53 and Dabid 54. Par was 40. So I was 14 over Par and also dead-last.
Anyway, I didn’t make par. Or even close to it. And I didn’t win. Or even not finish last. But I did have a great time with my wife and friend, and that’s all that matters.
But next time… next time…