REVIEW: Denny’s Grilled Cheese Melt Sandwich. (Or: “Dabid vs. the Mozarella Sticks Sandwich!”)

It just may be the world's most perfect non-Southwestern restaurant.

Jen and I went to Denny’s tonight hoping to get our favorite Boca Burgers, but were distraught to see that Denny’s has switched away from soy-based Boca Burgers to gross veggie-filled veggie burgers. (Ewwwww.)

Those are mozzarrella sticks inside. Seriously. Mmmmmm.

Those are mozzarella sticks inside. Seriously. Mmmmmm.

But just when all seemed lost, something on the menu caught my eye–the brand-new Fried Cheese Melt sandwich. For the crazy low price of $4, you get four deep-fried mozzarella cheese sticks smothered in American cheese and grilled between two slices of sourdough bread. And fries.

Upon seeing this item on the menu, I knew two things were for certain: 1.) This sandwich would make me horribly, violently sick. and 2.) I was going to eat this sandwich.

So, Jen and I ended up getting a cheese quesadilla and a Fried Cheese melt sandwich with marinara sauce and upgraded seasoned fries, and an extra order of seasoned fries.

The results? Well, as you might expect, I feel pretty sick. Not as sick as I’d anticipated, but we’ll reserve judgment until tomorrow on that when my stomach may very well reject life and disintegrate.

The Fried Cheese Melt itself was… well… sorta gross. The marinara sauce had an awkward taste to it, and the stickiness of the mozzarella sticks interfered with eating the sandwich without it falling apart and made the consistency rather disgusting. These would have been cheap, mediocre mozzarella sticks on their own, so they don’t really add much class to the sandwich. The sandwich tastes like a grilled cheese that’s had a lot of something extra added–and not in a good way.

So the taste of the Fried Cheese Melt was not so good, and the meal was inferior to the Boca Burger I was expecting. Furthermore, I’m probably going to feel sick as hell the next few days from eating said sandwich. Would I eat it again? Doubtful. But being able to say I ate something even grosser than the Double Down from KFC? Absolutely worthwhile.

Would I recommend the Friend Cheese Melt? For the test or the nutritional value, certainly not. But for the experience of being able to say you had one of the most extreme, bad-for-you sandwiches ever created? Oh hell yeah. Totally recommended.

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