Dabid tries the world’s most vile substance: coffee. No one REALLY likes this, do they?!

Dammit, I was hoping it would taste like hot chocolate.

Dammit, I was hoping it would taste like hot chocolate.

While out with little brother last night doing work at Starbucks, I had a little bit of this coffee drink thing. And I have to say, it was the most wretched, vile concoction I ever tasted. I really don’t understand how people can drink this stuff. Does anybody really like coffee drinks, or is it all a front?! Because I truly do not believe that anyone could ingest such a substance and keep up the pretense of deriving enjoyment from it.

It tasted like somebody took a bunch of nuts and then liquefied them, heated them up and then threw some whipped cream on top at the last moment to create the illusion that the drink was actually supposed to taste good. And let me tell you–I can happily spray whipped cream directly out of the aerosol into my mouth and enter a state of pure bliss, and not even the whipped cream could save this drink for me.

The nasty echinacea concentrated extract I take shots of to boost my immunity? That was better than this. Those protein drinks that taste like they’re made of chalk? Those were better than this too. Mountain Dew? Yeah, even that was better than this.

This is the second time in my life I was fooled by a Starbucks. The first was when I went with Jenny when I was a kid and there was that thing that I thought was an ice cream sundae that turned out to be this freaky frappuccino drink.

I won’t be tricked again by you, Starbucks…

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One Response to Dabid tries the world’s most vile substance: coffee. No one REALLY likes this, do they?!

  1. Dave says:

    Mountain Dew is delish!

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